


My Last Season Called You

by doieagenda



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Sort Of, Wedding Receptions, Weddings, mentioned chenji, past Nomin, past renhyuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:55:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28955310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doieagenda/pseuds/doieagenda
Summary: Renjun feels like the whole tent is closing up on him. The lights are too blinding, the flowers bordering on a foul stench, and the distant drones of the crowd around him slowly dissipating. Something invisible lodges itself in his throat and suddenly his mouth runs dry despite the amount of liquor he has drunk already.Because in the middle of it all, stands Lee Donghyuck.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun & Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Na Jaemin, Lee Jeno & Na Jaemin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	My Last Season Called You

**Author's Note:**

> Hello i am back with a renhyuck (sort of) fic! I wrote this instead of attending our theater org rehearsals and that's why it's so short but anyway,,, this fic was inspired by this [ gif ](https://twitter.com/HRJFEED/status/1352972787665743872) and a little bit of faded in my last song :>

Renjun takes the bottle of champagne by the neck and pours it in the glass, the liquid spilling due to his shaky hands. The whole venue— a marquee set in a very lovely garden resort— buzzed with the excited chatters of the guests and the playful cheers for those children dancing on the makeshift dance floor. Gold and white furnished the whole place, making it look straight out of a fairytale. It was beautiful as the lights adoring the top of the tent looked like a thousand dancing fairies. The fragrance of the flowers and wine flooded his nostrils. 

It was sickening. 

Renjun feels like the whole tent is closing up on him. The lights are too blinding, the flowers bordering on a foul stench, and the distant drones of the crowd around him slowly dissipating. Something invisible lodges itself in his throat and suddenly his mouth runs dry despite the amount of liquor he has drunk already. 

Because in the middle of it all, stands Lee Donghyuck. 

He squints in an attempt to suppress his budding headache, gripping the neck of the champagne bottle tighter. His head feels like it became 2 pounds heavier, but he tries to sit up straight and keep his priorities aligned. 

This isn’t how he imagined the whole occasion to go years ago. After he had proposed, he planned everything down from his wedding vows to even the last petal of their floral centerpieces in their reception. But fate had its ways of playing its game. Obviously, it wasn’t very keen on Renjun. 

In his head, they would stand inside a barn. Rustic and homely decorations embellishing the whole building. Both of them are wearing white, equipped with semi-matching bow ties. Their friends and family cheering them on from where they would sit in front as they would clink their wine glasses, doing a frisky couple shot. Their cake, something simple, would be cut by the two of them and they would feed it to each other. 

Clearly, there had been a lot more detail that was put into every daydream about his and Donghyuck’s wedding. Renjun cannot stress the amount of times he had fantasized about this moment only to end up in this situation: with him sitting on the sidelines while Donghyuck was dancing in the middle with his  _ husband.  _

_ Oh how funny fate is.  _

❁

The whole mood of the reception was fairly romantic. Both the best men gave out their best speeches and elicited a lot of reactions from their audience. The scraping of the chairs every time there was a standing ovation, annoyed Renjun to no end. Older couples from each groom’s families sent them wishes, and even overshared a little about their own seemingly perfect marriages but he had half a heart to listen to the stories since none of it will ever make sense to him. All of them offered their cheers to the newlyweds and while they downed the contents of their small champagne glasses, Renjun downed the whole bottle. 

He looks at Donghyuck and the other turns his head to his direction, locking eyes with him. This catches him off guard and he looks down after realizing. Something in him churns. It makes him want to hurl and set himself on fire. 

Once, Donghyuck’s eyes contained the whole entire galaxy. It had stars, the moon, the planets, the sun. Most importantly, it had Renjun. Once, they had love in them that only the two of them can explain. It pervades the very air they breathe, and it was something so unexplainably theirs that it deluded Renjun that something permanent like marriage can seal something so unattainable by other people.

Apparently though, that was something of the past. Today, Donghyuck’s eyes when he looks at his husband, not only contains the galaxy, but the entirety of the universe. The love that he thought was never-ending, faded away until the only thing left is a hollowness that cannot be filled again.

But of course, there is nothing that Renjun can do except force himself to be happy for the other man instead of dwelling on the what ifs of their failed relationship. At the end of the day, Donghyuck isn’t his anymore, and Renjun isn’t his. 

It is what it is. 

❁

He catches up with some friends from college after the ceremonies of the reception. If anyone noticed his slightly shattered state, they were kind (or considerate) enough not to ask about it. 

Except probably Jeno Lee. 

They had been friends in the few years of college, but drifted away after Renjun took his masters in another university. They didn’t keep up with each other’s lives at all, with the exception of the annual birthday and seasons greetings. So hearing Jeno being blunt with him was definitely what woke him up from the drunken stupor he’d been in all night. 

“You look like shit,” Jeno points out, sitting beside Renjun. 

He places his glass down on the table and slowly turns his head to Jeno. He notices the way age has caught up to him. His once youthful looking face, turned into a more chiseled and mature one. His previous affinity with brightly colored hair, replaced by a simplistic and natural black. 

He looks nice, Renjun thinks.

“Thanks, I appreciate it,” he retorts, tone free from any snark.

Jeno laughs, shoulders bouncing and eyes curling into the usual half-moons. “How are you, Renjun?”

Wearily, he spins the champagne in his glass and nods. “I’ve been better, you?”   


“I’m the same. Tough night?” Jeno asks him, a comforting smile gracing his lips. Renjun sighs and sips the bubbly drink. 

“It’s so-so,” He responds. Honestly, Renjun didn’t want to be a debbie downer in this event. It wasn’t even exclusive to him, so he doesn’t know why he’s secretly being a little bitch about it. 

“Yeah, they look good together, don’t they?” 

He eyes Jeno who had his gaze fixated on the groom. No, not Donghyuck. 

Na Jaemin. 

He then directs his gaze to where Jeno was staring, and feels his insides churn again. The two grooms were merrily laughing as Chenle, one of the best men, animatedly talks about something neither Renjun nor Jeno is aware of. 

“Yeah they do.” 

Jeno takes a champagne glass and grabs the bottle from Renjun’s side, pouring it in. It was then that Renjun realized that him and Jeno are the same. He remembers Jaemin and Jeno. He knew that there was something between them ever since they were in college. No specifics, only that they had a special bond that transcended beyond friendship, however both denied any allegations about them dating. 

Renjun didn’t press about it before, but now he wants some semblance of likeness from someone experiencing the same thing as him. A silence permeated between the two of them, the noise of the whole place drowned out by the sadness of two men who are at the wedding of the people they love(d). 

“How did you react when you got the invitation?” Renjun questions Jeno, who raises his eyebrows at the sudden interrogation. 

“You want me to say the safe answer or the honest one?”

Renjun sends him a pointed look, “What do you think?”

“Well, I don’t know about you, but Jaemin and I stayed in touch after everything fell apart in our friend group. So I knew about how Donghyuck proposed to him and all of the sappy details.”

That statement made Renjun’s head spin. Donghyuck proposed? 

Jeno continues, ignorant of how Renjun just tensed up in his seat. “I was preparing myself the whole planning period, the invitation just made the whole wedding thing real. I was like ‘wow this is really happening, the guy I’ve been hung up on for years is getting married.’”

Renjun nods, knowing the feeling.

“I wasn’t supposed to go, you know.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want to see Jaemin be happy with someone else that wasn’t me,” Jeno mulls, sipping more of the champagne. 

“What made you change your mind?”

Jeno turns to him— really turns to him— and looks him in the eye. It was intense... the glint in his eyes. It is like that time that their college friend group joined a protest against homophobic school regulations. 

“Renjun, do you still love Donghyuck?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, you loved him once right?” 

Renjun nods, swallowing the lump in his throat. He fiddles with his tie, feeling it constrict his airflow. 

“If you loved him, you’d like to see him happy, right?”

“Of course,” He croaks out, feeling everything around him sizzle down. “Happiness is his default setting. He had always been beautiful, but he shines the brightest when he’s happy.”

“Exactly.”

Renjun and Jeno simultaneously look at the grooms who are now dancing together in the middle of the dance floor. Ignoring the fact that this is their special day, they do already outshine everyone else here. If this had been a normal event with no romantic notion whatsoever, they would still be the ones to dull the flare of those around them. It’s not rocket science, they had been painfully obvious the whole night. 

They’re so sickeningly in love. But he guesses seeing his friend and his ex lover glowing and radiant, tones down the ugly feeling Renjun had been feeling the past few hours. He did almost convince himself that he’ll try to be supportive.

“Anyway,” Jeno begins, cutting him out of his reverie. “We don’t want to ruin the jolly mood, don’t we?” 

A smile breaks out on Renjun’s face and he huffs jokingly, “What do you mean about ruining the mood? Let’s go dance.”

The other man grins and lets himself be pulled by Renjun. They goofily dance to a random Bruno Mars song, belting out the wrong lyrics. He laughs when Jeno attempts an awkward robot dance and ends up almost straining his neck.

Soon after a hand snakes around Renjun’s shoulder, making him jump a little. He tilts his head only to be greeted by Zhong Chenle, Park Jisung tailing him from behind. 

“Renjun hyung! I’m so glad to see you again!” Chenle exclaims, showing him a toothy grin. 

“Chenle! Long time no talk!” Renjun beams fondly. “You too, Jisung!”

Chenle moves on to jump on Jeno, and Jisung waves to him a little awkwardly. Renjun lets out a chuckle at how the younger one is still the same. After their greetings, they resume dancing. This time with Chenle and Jisung trying to beat each other in a dance battle. The two older men in the group chortles at the younger two’s antics. 

A little while after, Chenle calls over Mark Lee (Donghyuck’s best friend and best man). Renjun shuffles on his feet, feeling the nerves from earlier come back. Mark takes a good look at him as he nervously shifts his feet, and engulfs him in a tight hug. 

“I missed you,” he whispers, hugging him tighter. “Don’t ever ghost us like that again!”

He smiles and nods his head. Seeing all of them here makes Renjun think about how much they’ve aged. Gone are the young adults who broke down together before exams, or the ones that celebrated every week by going out for drinks in dingy bars, or the ones who worried about their future careers. It feels like a dream being with the people he once considered his only family, while his biological ones were far away in another country. 

They dance like old times, like they don’t experience premature back pains and eye strains. Renjun feels free for the first time he was here, until someone hollers at them.

“Hey! Are you guys dancing without us?” Jaemin asks, a teasing smile plastered on his face. Beside him, Donghyuck stands with the same teasing look as his husband. 

“Yeah! Married couples aren’t invited to this dance party,” Chenle counters, making Mark laugh out loudly. 

“You! You are getting married to Jisung in a few months, so you shouldn’t be allowed to reject us,” Donghyuck retorts. 

Renjun’s brows shoot up, but he says nothing. He then spots the rings that wrap snugly on Chenle and Jisung’s fingers and a small smile breaks out on his face. He looks at Jeno and the man just shrugs. 

The banter goes on for a while, because Chenle wouldn’t give up to Donghyuck. He never did. 

Renjun guesses some things don’t change. 

He locks eyes with Donghyuck for the second time that night, but this time he keeps it like that. Donghyuck sends him a tight lipped smile and he does the same. Jaemin detaches himself from his husband and jumps at Renjun. 

“Injunnie! My little Renjun!” He wails dramatically. Renjun stumbles a few steps back, surprised at how hard Jaemin threw himself at him. “You came!” 

“Of course,” he says a little tensely. The other man didn’t seem to notice, since he just threw himself again to Renjun. 

“We were afraid you wouldn’t, but I’m so glad you did because now, the whole gang's here!”

Renjun laughs at him and pats his back. “Yeah, I missed you losers.”

Donghyuck pries Jaemin away from him. “Babe, you’re gonna end up suffocating him.” 

This makes Renjun laugh lightheartedly, and he shakes his head. “It’s fine. I can handle him.” 

The other man smiles at him again, this time his teeth were showing and his eyes turned up into crescents. Renjun doesn’t make it obvious, but he feels the air knocked out of him. It was the first time he had seen Donghyuck up close like this. 

His white suit amplifying the golden tan of his skin and his hair atop his forehead in little curly strands. It was no doubt that Renjun always found him beautiful, but tonight he was ethereal. 

“Hi, Hyuckie.” 

“Hi, Junnie.”

His whole world stops, but then he remembers that this is real life, and once again, he reminds himself that Donghyuck isn’t his anymore. 

Donghyuck takes slow, careful steps towards him and envelopes him into a tender hug. Renjun breathes his scent in and takes it all in before he disappears from the face of earth again. 

“I missed you so much,” Donghyuck mumbles, head nuzzled on Renjun’s neck. A blush creeps up his neck to his ears and replies with the same thing. They break away and Donghyuck goes back to where Jaemin is. 

Acting like his body isn’t feeling like it had been doused in gasoline and lit on fire, he goes back beside Jeno and rejoins on the small dance party. The DJ, who is conveniently Donghyuck’s older brother Johnny, speaks into the microphone and tells them to grab a partner as the slow dance is about to commence. 

The ceremonious slow dance was already finished, so Jaemin pulls an overly hyper Chenle down as his partner while Jisung steals Jeno as his. Mark was nowhere to be found, probably drunk in some corner, Jisung states nonchalantly. 

Renjun trudges over to his seat but a hand catches him before he weaves his way out of the dance floor. He spins on his heels and sees Donghyuck. 

“Hey, you can’t expect me to sit around while the others are dancing, are you?” He muses. Renjun blinks and just shrugs. 

“Don’t be a killjoy, Renjun. Let’s dance, for old time’s sake.”

Yeah, old time sake. Renjun agrees though and allows him to take the lead. He hesitantly puts both his hands on the other’s shoulders, while Donghyuck snakes his hands on his waist. They sway to the song and Renjun finds himself humming along peacefully. 

Surprisingly, this isn’t too bad. 

“How are you?” Donghyuck starts. Renjun nods slowly, choosing the right words to describe how he is. 

“I’m alright.”

“That’s it?” Donghyuck deadpans. “There’s got to be more than that.”

“Uhh,” he stammers, “Well, I work in this big advertising firm, it’s pretty good there. I live with my cousin’s friend. He’s cool I guess, except some nights he keeps me up with his incessant video gaming, but it’s fine. Can’t blame the guy, he’s a game developer. It’s literally his job.”

Donghyuck nods, looking genuinely interested about all of the things Renjun is telling him. 

“I don’t know what else to say. I’m just alright, my life isn’t exciting.”

“That’s nice to know, Renjun. Anyone special in your life right now?”

He shakes his head, laughing a little bitterly. After Donghyuck, no one really piqued his interest or ever got through his high walls, so none of his relationships really last that long. “None, and that’s fine.”

“Well, if you’re okay with it…” Donghyuck trails off, spinning them around, so that his back is facing Jaemin and the others. 

Renjun offers him a half-smile and continues to sway to the song. “How about you though? Mister married man.”

Donghyuck laughs heartily at him and his head drops to Renjun’s shoulders. Unfortunately for him, his heart started beating wildly on his ribcage and he just hopes Donghyuck doesn’t catch up on it. 

“I’m so happy, Renjun,” He grins broadly. “I have never felt this sure about someone that’s why I proposed, you know? It feels like I’m on cloud nine and I’ve never been this excited about something ever. It’s a new adventure for the both of us and that’s what’s so thrilling about it. Like I never thought marriage would feel like this because it always scared me before, that’s why…” He falters. 

Renjun smiles sadly. “That’s why you ended it with me.”

This makes Donghyuck frown and look down shamefully to his feet. He mumbles an apology but Renjun shakes his head. 

“It’s okay.”

It’s not but Renjun doesn’t want to be the villain here. Whatever happened between them is over, and he’s mostly accepted the way things are now.

“No, I really am sorry, Injun. I’m sorry for leaving you without an explanation.” 

“Hyuck, I swear it’s fine,” he insists, cupping his face. Donghyuck smiles at him dejectedly. 

“Don’t think I didn’t love you though. God, I loved you with every fiber of my being, I loved you to the point that it was the only thing I knew how to do properly.”

Renjun knew this, Donghyuck loved intensely. But so did he, and that didn’t turn out so well. 

“But it was too suffocating until one day I woke up and saw no future with you. I was so scared, but I had to do it for myself and even for you. You deserve someone who will always love you unconditionally, through your ups and downs, and your everything else. I’m sorry I can’t be that for you, Renjun. You deserve so much more than what I gave you.”

With years of practice, Renjun learned the art of hiding his feelings behind a stoic and strong façade. He promised himself not to crack, but this is Donghyuck. He had been the biggest source of comfort and hurt in his life. When he blinked, a tear trickled down his cheek. 

“Injun, I’m so sorry,” Donghyuck quavers. “I’m  _ so _ sorry.”

Renjun shakes his head and bites down on his lip to stop himself from sobbing and dropping to his knees right there and then. “Please don’t apologize.  _ Please _ .”

He returns his hands on Donghyuck’s shoulders, to keep his balance. 

“You weren’t lacking anything. You, Lee Donghyuck, showed me so much love. You were my first in a lot of things and I’m always grateful. Don’t ever think that I blamed you. I never did. Well, yeah we didn’t work out. But you’re content now aren’t you?” he smiles through his cries. A tear escapes Donghyuck’s eyes and he was quick to thumb it away. 

“It did hurt me, but seeing where you are now,” he looks at Jaemin behind them, pinching Chenle’s cheeks. “Calms me down, knowing that you’re in safe arms now. Much safer than mine. I still thank the stars that they let me meet you, Hyuck. Don’t ever feel sorry, alright? It's just how it is. I’m fine now, I swear.”

Donghyuck smiles and sniffs, nodding his head. They wipe each other’s tears and smile sadly at the circumstances of their relationship. He affixes his head in the juncture of Renjun’s neck and Renjun leans his head on his, as they stay like this for a while.

Jaemin calls Donghyuck over soon after, saying that they need to do their thank you speeches. They peel off each other as Donghyuck tells Jaemin to wait for him. He leans over and pecks Renjun’s cheeks.

“I love you, Renjun. I wish you all the happiness and love you deserve.”  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading this! I do appreciate if you leave comments hehe <3333


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